Yesaholics Anonymous
Article Theme: getting comfortable with saying the word, "No."
An article by Keith Rosen about getting comfortable with saying the word, "No."
My wife and
I are in the final stages of building our new home. We're
in the 9th month of a 4 month project so I believe the job is almost done.
In truth, this project was always a nine month project. But he didn't want to tell me that. Instead, he wanted
to keep me "Happy." My contractor thought that
telling me what I wanted to hear would make me happy.
Happy that I had to extend my stay in temporary housing.
Happy that I'm billed every additional month for storage.
Happy that I'm paying my mortgage and utilities without
living in my home. Happy that my wife and I planned our
lives (school for three children) around a four month
timeline. No, I'm the farthest thing from being "Happy."
For example, have you ever said "Yes" when you're
better off saying "No?" Have you made promises
you can't keep or struggle to honor? Do you have a hard
time telling the customer the truth about how long a project may actually take or cost? Do you withhold information
from your customers that you know they
want or need to hear in fear of a confrontation or losing
a sale? Do you believe you need to please
people for them to like you? Is your schedule frequently
overbooked? If so, you may be a "Yesaholic."
While my contractor does fabulous work, he didn't honor
any of his timelines. At least he's the only one who accrues expenses for every additional day the job
takes to complete. Not exactly.
You will make more money, have happier customers, generate more referrals and deal with fewer headaches if you would
simply be honest. I'm not suggesting that my contractor
is lying by doing something illegal or immoral. The fact
is, I trust him 100%. I'm suggesting being honest about
what you
know to be true and sharing it with your customers, even
if the customer may not like what you're saying.
When you instinctually say "Yes" first without
thinking whether you can realistically deliver on that
timeline or expectation, you always have the best intentions
in mind. You believe you can "Do it all." Yet,
think about what happens when you promise to deliver on
something (completing a project, meeting with a customer)
and you're not able to honor that promise? How does that
make you and the other person feel?
Saying "No" is often perceived as a bad thing.
After all, you don't want to say "No" and fear
letting someone down, looking bad or losing a sale. The
irony is, if you inevitably say "Yes" all the
time to keep everyone happy and don't follow through with
your commitments, you wind up creating what you wanted
to avoid from the start. That is, letting others down
and creating stressful situations that cost time, money
and problems by continually over committing and not delivering!
Being honest and honoring your boundaries (saying "No")
is a very attractive trait. You'll find that more people
will hire you, since people respect those who have strong
boundaries.
The next time someone asks you to do something (including promises you make to yourself), give yourself the time to process their request by saying, "Let me check my schedule and I will get back to you" or, "Thanks for the opportunity. I will consider it." Then, ask yourself these five important questions before you respond. (How important are these questions? In terms of a measurable cost, these questions would have saved my contractor $32,200.00).
1. "Is
this something I really want to be doing?"
2. "Is this something I have to do?" (It supports
my goals, responsibilities, lifestyle, priorities, etc.)
3. "Can I meet this person's expectations?"
4. "Do I really have time for this?" (Are there
other activities you have committed to that take priority?)
5. "What is a reasonable deadline/expectation I can
commit to in the absolute worst case scenario?" (If
you plan for the worst, you wind up building buffers into
your schedule that would enable you to handle unforeseen
problems while still honoring your commitments. The result?
You'll look like a hero!)
After practicing this a few times you'll quickly see the benefits, since your life will became easier and more simplified once you eliminate the problems that result from over committing. Remember, either you run your life or other people and circumstances are.
Develop strong boundaries and eliminate the toxic people,
activities and customers that are costing you time, money
and energy. Schedule an appointment with a life and business
coach today by calling 1 - 888 - 262 - 2450 or email us
at info(at)profitbuilders.com.
Take your life and career to the next level.
This article about getting comfortable with saying the word, "No." presented by Profitbuilders.com